Nothing fills me like You
By koen Hamilton 1-26-11
I have sought to fill by other means
The space in my heart that is reserved for You
And only been left disappointed and longing
Nothing fills me like You do
Why oh why cant I be satisfied
With all that You are, all that You give
Knowing it all in my head, flowing from my heart
Showing in the way I live
Nothing fills me like You do
No love is greater than Yours
Seeing all that I am
embracing me as Yours
And being all that I need
Lessons I have learned
Lessons I have to fall back on
That you never fail
You are always what I need and more
You have always proved faithful
Never failing me
Yet countless times I’ve let You down
Not turning to You to be
All I need
Nothing fills me like You do
No love is greater than Yours
Seeing all that I am
Embracing me as yours
And being all I need
God has blessed me with a life He has abundantly graced. Trials, yes, but not near what many go through. While aware and grateful of this blessed life, I was unaware of how I wasn’t really living in desperate dependence on Him. I thought I was, and would have said I was. Not until a deeply wounding trial in my life did I realize that I had been deceiving myself. I realized how little I actually depended on my Father to be everything I needed in all things, at all times. I was shown how weak I am.
In Deuteronomy 8:2-3 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.
God told the Israelites how He was letting them go through the wilderness so that He could humble them and reveal to them what was in their heart. What was in their heart? They weren’t satisfied with God alone, they kept turning to idols…. God met all their needs yet they weren’t satisfied with Him. He said He had to cause them to hunger for Him and thirst for Him. That is where I found myself. This trial was more difficult than anything I have ever been through. Actually Im still in it, not through it. But I am learning as I go, things that I wasn’t turning to God for, trusting God in, and I am desperate to draw closer to Him. These past several months, even in my desperation, I chose to wallow rather than worship. I chose to give up and be depressed. I lost all motivation to do the things I needed to do. That is not normally me, it was something I did not know how to handle which made things increasingly worse.It was easier to wallow and focus on my pain than to look up to Him and cry out to Him, reaching for Him through His truth; thus revealing to me my lack. It was like a vicious circle. I can say that God never left me, He pursued me, and didn’t give up on me. Now He is restoring me and I am on board. It is easy when things are going well to really believe we are living in dependence on the Lord. Trials reveal where we really are. While I do not like trial, difficulty, confrontation or the like, I am thankful for the lessons God is teaching me and even more so that He loves me enough to filter every trial through His loving hand, and not give me more than I can handle, and uphold me with His righteous right hand (Is. 41:10) when I think I cant go on any longer. He is always all that I need, waiting for me to come to Him.
He wants to be that to us all, He is just waiting for us to turn to Him.
I encourage you, if you are going through a difficult trial right now, dont waste months like I have done, cry out to Him. He is there….waiting to embrace You and carry you through. You are not alone.
